Max singing twinkle twinkle...and getting distracted. Go figure.

I'm BACK!

Ok, I am going to update my blog....there you go.

I FOUND THE ANSWER!! I just have to say that I KNOW my Heavenly Father knows me and knows my specific struggles and questions I have. It amazes me that He cares so much about me and that He answers my prayers. I have been struggling with finding the answer to something quite important recently and this morning I FOUND IT! I can't even tell you how many conference talks I have read and how many times I've looked in the scriptures to only come up with somewhat of a fuzzy response to my question. It was getting so frustrating and causing problems and arguments left and right. I hate to say it, but I was to the point of giving up and just coming to the conclusion that my question wasn't going to be answered specifically and my feelings weren't going to be confirmed either way. I was thinking "Oh great, this is another one of those "Figure it out on your own." kinda things." I strongly dislike those, by the way. Well, this morning, in my given-up state of mind, I decided not to try to find the answer to my question anymore, I wasn't even going to think about it. I was going to spend my time studying something else with a more solid direction, like house cleaning. There's really no two ways about it. You're supposed to keep your house clean and that's that. A few weeks ago I attended a class my mother taught on that very subject and had collected some information from it. As I read through one of the talks we were given, there was a part of it that, once again, very hazily answered my previous question I had just yesterday given up on. Ah, but there was a footnote, a glimpse of hope in finding a more concrete answer. I found that this sentence was taken from a pamplet written back in 1987 by President Ezra Taft Benson called To the Mother's In Zion. I found it online and started reading. IT WAS THERE! My answer was there, as clear as clear can be. Not only was my answer there, but I was inspired about many other things as well. I'd have to go ahead and say this pamphlet was AWESOME! It really made me feel so good to know that even though I had given up, my Heavenly Father had not given up on me. I know I haven't let you in on what my question was exactly, and that could be frustrating some, but really, that's not why I'm sharing this with you. I just want everyone who reads this to know that I know that Heavenly Father is real and He really cares about each and every one of us. If you have time, and even if you don't, I would suggest you read this pamplet even if you aren't a mother, even if you're not a girl! It's really not that long and even in it's lack of length there is definitely no lack of spiritual upliftment. Thank you to those of you who actually made it through this very long-winded post. I love you all so much!!

Daddy went to Lake Powell with some friends for a couple of days so its just me and my little punkin head. Alex and I were both supposed to go to Lake Powell and leave Max with grandma and grandpa Loveless, but I just couldn't bring myself to leave my boy for that long. The longest I've left him was overnight and that was hard enough for me. So, at the last minute, I decided that I wanted to stay home with Max. Today's the first day he's been gone and it's actually been quite good. We went swimming, and visited Grandma and Grandpa Higgy and went to Cold Stone and brought it to Andrea cause she had quite the happenings at her house. That's a story she'll have to tell. But seriously, today was alright! I will say that I have noticed how much Alex helps out with Max. It was extremely tricky going to the pool and getting out of the house took at least three times as long. Al is such a good daddy and Max and I both miss him terribly! I truly love my little family. I have been so blessed! I can honestly say that I have never been happier. I'm really finding my place in this life and finding myself. I find so much joy in being a wife and a mother. I honestly wouldn't choose to be anything else. It's just really great to not be wondering anymore, wondering which road to take or who I'm supposed to be, or even just who I am. Mind you, I'm not saying I've got everything all figured out, but I'd say I've got a good idea. I like the road I'm on and I'm just gonna keep trudging along. Sorry about the novel. I'm just lonely and my blog is keeping me company, but I'm done now...Good NIGHT!

1. What is his name? Alex T Loveless

2. Who eats more? Oh geeze, ME OK!! Gosh!

3. Who said I love you first? To be honest, I don't remember. That was a looooong time ago. I'm guessing Alex said it first in a note or something.

4. Who is taller? Alex is....have you seen me? I'm 3 inches shy of qualifying for midget status!

5. Who is smarter? Depends on what we're talking about. Hand me a tool and ask me what it is...no clue. Ask Alex how to spell the word tomorrow...he'll get it wrong.

6. Who is more sensitive? Hands down me.

7.Who does the laundry? I do the sorting, and the loading and the button pushing. We usually just help each other out with the folding and putting away.

8. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? The right side is my side...ALWAYS!

9. Who pays the bills? Me. That's why half of them are always late.

10. Who cooks more? I do, but seriously, cooking is one of my weaknesses. I hardly ever do it.

11. What meals do you cook together? Al always helps me when I cook.

12. Who is more stubborn? Oh heavens, we both are, but I'd have to go with me. I'm more stubborn.

13. Who is the first to admit they're wrong? I am. Sometimes I do it just so we'll stop fighting. I HATE fighting!

14. Who has more siblings? I have 4 more siblings.

15. Who wears the pants in the relationship? Alex, he kinda has the final say on things, but I will say this...The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.

16. What do you like to do together? Go out to eat, hang out with our friends, watch the Bachelorette and So You Think You Can Dance and make Crème Brulée...and eat it of course.

17. Who eats more sweets? Well, a while ago I would've said Alex but ever since I met up with my two new friends, no-bake cookies and peanut butter M&Ms, I'd have to say for sure, I do.

18. Guilty pleasures? Ya, we won't go there.

19. How did you meet? Technically, at church when we were little kiddies. I was 5, he was 6.

20. Who asked who out first? There was no asking out. We were in 9th grade and that was just sooo 8th grade.

21. Who kissed who first? He kissed me, but he sure as heck had to work for it. Took him a year and three months for me to let him kiss me.

22. Who proposed? Alex did, in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building while we were looking out the window at the Salt Lake Temple. Afterwards, we went to a Jazz game...coulda seen that coming.

23. His best features? I LOVE love his eyes, his dimple in his chin, his arms, his hands and, of course, his tight butt!! Ya, pretty much I love everything from the waist up... and from the waist down.

24. What is his greatest quality? He is one heck of a hard worker. He has such a big heart too, but I'd have to say his greatest quality is how much he loves his little boy.

25. Tag? Lisa Stradling, Krista Cook, Kara Ford

Do you see the boy in this picture? That's Alex, my amazingly wonderful, sweet, selfless husband. I'm in the middle of trying to accomplish one of my dreams and he has been so supportive and helpful. He's pretty much the reason I am doing it now. I had lost some of my passion for music and he's pushed me to find it again. I'm am so grateful that he cares enough about me to push me sometimes. Well, as you can probably tell, this picture goes quite a ways back. I believe I was 15 years old and Alex was 16. We had already been dating for at least a year...ya I know, nuts huh? We were so in love then and we're so incredibly more in love now. It's just crazy to think that we've ended up where we are. With all the adversity and everything we went through, I think most would've just given up. There was just something that made it so we couldn't let go. I know that Heavenly Father had a plan for us. I know that we are meant to be where we are and we were meant to have little Maxwell. I think Al would agree that Max has been the biggest blessing in our lives. He has brought so much happiness to our lives! It was so hard sometimes, but it was completely all worth it in the end. My little schoolgirl crush is now my eternal companion and we have the most beautiful little boy! You don't see that happen very often. It gets me so excited that I get to spend forever with them both! It really makes me giggle!! (I just did! Haha) I know this all sounds mushy and what not, but ya know what? Love IS MUSHY!!! Love is love. (inside joke) I'm in love! I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!!!!! Ok, now I'm just getting slap happy. I'll leave you with just two things. Number one...when Heavenly Father gives us great trials, if we have faith and push through it, there is ALWAYS and even greater reward. Number two...never forget to be grateful for the one you love. I LOVE YOU ALEX!!!!!

I'm just sitting out by the most freaking cool fire pit Alex made with some of the coolest people in the world. Ya, life's been good today, but yesterday.....oh my goodness....life SUCKED! I'm pretty sure I had food poisoning. Stupid Taco Bell. I threw up about 10 times (no joke) and ended up in the hopsital extremely dehydrated and with the worst stomach pains I've had since giving birth. One of the worst things was I couldn't be around Max. I missed him so much! I had Alex get me a hospital mask for when I was feeling up to holding him. Oh ya, I don't know what they gave me through my IV while I was there, but it was beautiful. The pain completely went away and I fell asleep at the hospital when they gave it to me, came home and slept for about 16 hours more. I tell you what though, I kept saying to Al that I would way rather have been in labor than be as sick as I was. Ya, it was NO fun. On the bright side, I realized yesterday how amazing my family is. The moment they found out I was sick, I had help right there by my side. Lisa came over early in the morning to help me out. She played with Max, put him to sleep TWICE, and went above and beyond and did my laundry for me. Not to mention, she brought over quite the selection of movies for me to watch. My mom came over as soon as she was done working at the temple and watched Max for us while Al took me to the hospital. When we came back, my dad was there too, to make sure I was ok. It's just amazing. I have the most amazing family. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father gave me such a wonderful family. They truly are such a blessing in my life. I can never be thankful enough.